After Mummy’s stay in hospital, she thanked Daddy for “running the household” on his own. This sounds very impressive, until you realise that Mummy and Daddy’s house is not Downton Abbey. Here’s what Mummy really meant. For a period not exceeding eleven days:
- Daddy did not burn the house down.
- Daddy drove Mummy’s car without crashing it.
- All outstanding household bills were paid on time (by Direct Debit).
- Daddy correctly identified the differences between the washing machine, the dishwasher, and the oven. No plates were accidentally washed in the washing machine or, probably, at all.
- Daddy became a very popular customer of Ruby’s Chinese Takeaway.
- Daddy got out of bed before midday at least half of the time, and sometimes he remembered to shower. He changed his clothes at least once.
- Daddy didn’t always stay up all night watching repeats of RudeTube.